This morning during my walk (when I try to have time with God) my mind could not stay focused. Last night before I went to bed; the same thing. During my walk all I could say for a long time over and over again was "Jesus, come Holy Spirit, come Jesus, Come Lord." After a good deal of time I could only think that I don't want to loose my closeness, intimacy and even raw emotions that I have experienced with God. As my life is moving to another chapter - I feel this chapter is going to be so much different than things have been. Good! But in the good I don't want to loose sight of God. I don't want to forget how faithful he's been in the challenging times of life. Would it be better to hold on to the hard to keep God? I need to move forward and keep God. All of it doesn't matter (good or bad) if I don't have God. I must have God. My relationship with him must be intimate; I need it! I must not forget the closeness, intimacy and raw emotions that I have experienced with God.
Isaiah 64:4,5 "Since ancient times no one has heard, no ear has perceived, no eye has seen any God besides you, who acts on behalf of those who wait for him. You come to the help of those who gladly do right, who remember your ways."
John 15:5 "I am the vine; you are the branches. If you remain in me and I in you, you will bear much fruit; apart from me you can do nothing." - I have continued to hope that whatever my next steps are vocationally that my closeness with Jesus will bring me greatness - not because of me - but because of him. I have felt this a lot in my work. Things go so well where I work - so well that it's obviously not ME! It's God. Whatever I do next - I want that to continue. I even want it to grow.
Psalms 36: 9,10 "For with you is the fountain of life; in your light we see light. Continue your love to those who know you, your righteousness to the upright in heart."
December 27th - Jesus Calling by Sarah Young
"I am preparing you for what is on the road ahead, just around the bend. Take time to be still in My Presence so that I can strengthen you. The busier you become, the more you need this time apart with Me. So many people think that time spent with Me is a luxury they cannot afford. As a result, they live and work in their own strength - until that becomes depleted. Then they either cry out to Me for help or turn away in bitterness.
How much better it is to walk close to me, depending on My strength and trusting Me in every situation. If you live in this way, you will do less but accomplish far more. Your unhurried pace of living will stand out in this rush-crazed age. Some people may deem you lazy, but many more will be blessed by your peacefulness. Walk in the Light with Me, and you will reflect Me to the watching world."
That last paragraph is what I desperately want with God. I need God for THIS!!!!
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