Red and White package

Today.  October 29th 2012 - I have been without husband and children for 7 days.  The longest I have ever done something like this.  I know many others have done this for longer - but I haven't and I miss them.

Today.  I battle to not worry; like many days.  The final closure of our house still has not happened - more complications more delays.

Today.  Dave has interviews; follow up from job fairs.

Today.  I pray.  I don't know what to pray.  I've said it all a million times with God - he knows my requests, my desires and my hopes

Today.  I want to not worry, I want closure on our house and I want success for Dave.  So all I know to say is what I have learned from my Pastor that I have watched pray and preach week in and week out for the last 15 year.  I have heard Pastor Rich Nathan say this prayer many times in the past.  "Come Lord come.  Come!  Come!  Come Jesus, Come!  Come, Holy Spirit.  Come.  Come!"  First my prayer is silent; in my head.  Then I feel drawn to say it out loud (thankfully I'm in my car - so I don't look mentally ill!)  I repeat this prayer again and again.  As I pray I think about Dave at his job interview, think about our house, kids, $ (all the things I so easily worry about).  Then I see a beautifully wrapped box. The paper has a white background with small red swipes all over it.  The package is neatly wrapped with red ribbon and a simple red bow tied on top.  It's being handed to me - from God.  A gift, like all things from God.  Taken care of,  well planned and thought out; neatly put together with a pretty bow on top.  I think this is a premonition for the future - not yet today. 

Today.  I will not have my gift.  Because this image in my head then shows God tying the bow on my package and my hands reaching to try to help.  "Are you going to let me finish this?"  He says.  I pull back my hands "Of course, go ahead, finish it."  He continues (slowly in my perspective), and there my hands are again trying to help tie the bow.  "Let me finish."  He says.  "YES!  I say - Go ahead and finish."  Trying to wait as he slowly ties this bow.  I want to reach again - but then I say "I don't want to finish it for you, I will wait."  I feel this sense of agreement with God. - HE has picked out this gift; HE has put it in a perfect sized box.  He has wrapped it so beautifully; perfectly.  He has put the simple red ribbon on it.  And when this simple bow is tied - it will be done - he will give it to me.  I will wait and when I'm feeling worrisome or impatient on a good day, I will pray.  God will be gracious.

Today.  I don't know what God's gift is (That's the best part of receiving a present, I guess.).  I want it to mean my specific worries above are taken care of.  I want it to mean he will finish it all; tie a pretty little bow around this move to Texas - jobs will be found, house will no longer be ours, the STRONG struggle of $$ will be gone.  But whatever God's gift is - I must just wait - because he will finish it and I will receive it.  And it will done.

Today.  I only know what I know today.  I only know that God gave me this vision and I must remember it.